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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672972">Unlooked-for</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxenjoy/pseuds/xxenjoy'>xxenjoy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Valentine's Day, switch!cas, switch!dean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-29 07:40:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,931</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxenjoy/pseuds/xxenjoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unlooked-for</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are things in Dean's life that aren't perfect; his relationship with his dad, his job, his romantic relationship status in general - but he's working on it. In the last few years, he has made huge progress in accepting himself for who he is and that means the fact that he's attracted to dudes. He's still not open about it, despite having come to terms with it himself over a year ago now; he knows his friends and most of his family would be cool with it, but it always comes back to what his dad would think. And John Winchester doesn't want a gay son. Nevermind that Dean's very much <i>bi</i>, because that's not how John would see it. And so he keeps quiet about himself and doesn't see guys more than once, if at all. </p><p>It's something he's gotten very good at in the last couple of months; meeting guys online and hooking up and never seeing them again. It works well for him. He can date whoever he wants without having the fuss of coming out to a less-than-accepting father. Which, ironically, is how he lands himself in a huge mess. A huge mess named James who is sexy as fuck and funny and perfect and Dean kinda maybe has a thing for him. </p><p>They met online a couple of weeks ago and normally Dean's process goes as such: share a couple of pics, chat a bit, hook up and then they're done. Only he and James can't seem to make it to step three. They've been talking almost every night now, but every time they try to meet up, one of them is busy. Dean is working or James has other plans and their schedules never line up. Which is frustrating, to say the least.</p><p>Once or twice he's tossed around the idea of asking him on a real date, but the feeling always passes and he moves on. For a day or so. But asking him out means seeing him for real, <i>meeting</i> him for real and that means telling his friends about him. It's not that they wouldn't be supportive because they've been supportive of everything else he's done. But if he tells them, it will inevitably get out and he's not willing to risk his dad finding out over a first date. Only then Valentine's day rolls around and Dean is, as per usual, the only single one in his friend group. </p><p>It comes up when he's talking to James one night. Dean's lying in bed half-dressed because his phone went off halfway through changing, holding his phone up above his head. </p><p><b>James:</b> Valentines Day tomorrow, any big plans?</p><p><b>Dean:</b> No. Friends are all out with their partners so I'm on my own. </p><p><b>James:</b> Nothing at all?</p><p><b>Dean:</b> Nope. Might play video games later, might just take a shower and go to bed early. </p><p><b>James:</b> You could have dinner with me?</p><p><i>Oh</i>. That catches him off guard. He's free tomorrow and James is free tomorrow and he has no good reason to say no to him other than the fact that he's afraid to. </p><p><b>Dean:</b>i Yeah. Absolutely.</p><p>They make plans and Dean's giddy with excitement. He can't even remember the last time he was this excited for a date. Maybe when Lisa Braeden agreed to go to prom with him. He lies to his friends when they ask because he doesn't know what else to say. He tells them he has a date and says it's just some girl he met online - an excuse not to be alone. It's more than that though, but maybe the lie helps him keep a little bit of distance himself, too. </p><p>Even as he spends the better part of two hours picking an outfit, Dean assures himself that this is just a date. Not even that, it's just dinner with a friend. Dinner than will hopefully end in mindblowing sex, but nothing more than that. James is a dude and that means one night and nothing more. </p><p>He's still made reservations at a nice restaurant because just because it's not going to lead into something long term doesn't mean they can't have a great night tonight. Dean drives to the restaurant a little early because they've never seen each other's faces and he wants to limit the potential confusion as much as possible. </p><p>When he arrives, he gives the name he used for the reservation - the same name he's been using online as a precaution - and is lead to an alcove seat near the back of the restaurant. It's not ideal as far as watching for his date, but the privacy it will afford them later makes up for it. The server brings a pair of water glasses and Dean orders a bottle of wine and he waits. </p><p>Of all the things Dean's expecting could go wrong, he never once considered the one thing that actually happens. He's only been sitting for five minutes when he looks up and sees a familiar face and his stomach leaps into his throat. He doesn't want anyone to see him here with his date - Cas least of all - but apparently, it's too late. </p><p>Of all the people he <i>should</i> have told, Cas is right up the top of that list. He's pan and probably the most accepting person Dean has ever met. And, on top of being Dean's best friend in the world, he's the one he always goes to when something's wrong or on those few occasions when he really needs someone to talk to. He feels guilty for not having told Cas, but this is not the time nor the place and right now he just wants him to leave. </p><p>Cas flashes him a smile and a quick wave and Dean can only hope he's being sat somewhere around the corner - and that he's not in an overly chatty mood. But they just keep coming toward him. <i>Fuck, fuck fuck.</i> Cas grin fades as they approach and Dean would be more concerned about it if he wasn't trying to think of a way to ditch his best friend without making it obvious that he's doing so. When the waiter stops right next to Dean's table, Dean and Cas look up at him wearing matching looks of confusion. </p><p>"Sorry, this can't be right," Cas says. "I said Patrick."</p><p>Dean's heart stops and he doesn't hear the server's response because that's <i>his</i> name. Well, the one he's been using online. Because he wants to be able to keep his identity safe in the case of meeting someone who's not who they say they are. The irony isn't lost on him.  </p><p>"There must be some sort of mistake," Cas says gently and Dean just shuts his eyes and shakes his head. There's a beat of silence and then Cas says, "sorry. Thank you." and slides into the seat across from him. </p><p>It takes more effort than he's happy to admit for Dean to lift his head and look at Cas and when he does, he feels like he's going to puke. They just look at each other for a minute and then Dean exhales slowly. </p><p>"Fake name?" he asks and Cas nods. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of Cas’ lips. At least <i>someone</i> finds this amusing though Dean doesn't see how he can. </p><p>This is <i>Cas</i>. They've known each other for so long that neither of them even remember how long it's been anymore. They've been through everything under the sun and even when Dean is at his lowest, Cas has been there. Now Cas has seen him naked, too. In fact, Cas has seen every inch of his body, more than people he's actually had sex with, and when Dean realizes this, his head spins. Since his first fumbling attempt at masturbation, Dean has never been embarrassed about his sex life - bad or good - but this is too much for him. Just thinking about the pictures he sent to Cas makes him want to curl up and hide for the rest of his life, whether it was knowingly or not. And then there's the pictures <i>Cas</i> sent. </p><p>They've never been exactly shy with each other, but there are certain aspects of Cas' life that he didn't know previously and never expected to know. Now he does. He knows exactly the way Cas touches himself when he jacks off and has so many pictures of his dick he could recreate it from memory. More than once, he's gotten off thinking about it. Even <i>with</i> him. </p><p>"Dean?" Cas asks and Dean realizes he's been spacing out, staring down at the tablecloth in front of him. </p><p>He tips his head up, carefully avoiding Cas' gaze. His expression is unreadable and Dean hates that he can't tell how Cas is feeling. Is he upset? or mad? or just confused as fuck? If that's the case, Dean can certainly get on board with that. Any of the above is totally and completely fair and Dean has cycled through all of them since Cas sat down. He's stuck somewhere around confusion now, but with a stabbing, overwhelming feeling of defeat. </p><p>James was the first guy he was willing to make an exception for and now he's not even real. He remembers he's being spoken to and shakes his head softly. </p><p>"Sorry. Um-" he doesn't know what to say, where to start. Of the two of them, Dean has a whole other level of shit to explain. He tells Cas as much. </p><p>"Then let me start. Dating sucks. Gabe convinced me to sign up for a dating service, but that was an incredible waste of time, not to mention, a failure. So I started using apps. They're more convenient and it's easier for me to narrow down my options, but there are also a lot more people using them."</p><p>"Hence the fake name?" Dean guesses. </p><p>"Exactly. You don't know who these people are-" <i>No shit</i>, Dean thinks bitterly. "-I use a fake name online to keep my private life private. I want to be able to control how much people know about me. If I'm only going to sleep with someone, they don't need to know about my family or friends. I don't want them to know that."</p><p>"I get it," Dean says, "you don't have to explain that to me. I'm just-" <i>Disappointed. Confused. Sad.</i> And somehow knowing that Cas isn't makes him feel worse. Even if James was really someone else, he clearly wasn't interested in the relationship Dean has been fantasizing about. It feels like a break-up and Dean doesn't know what to do with that. Cas seems to realize something’s up and he offers a soft smile.</p><p>"Start from the beginning?" he suggests. </p><p>Dean opens his mouth to speak just as their server returns and he shuts up again. Cas orders appetizers and pours them both wine. He pushes a glass in front of Dean as the server heads away again and waits patiently for him to speak. To his credit, Cas hasn't so much as mentioned the fact that Dean has been fucking around online with a <i>guy</i> for the past few weeks and Dean owes him an explanation for that much. </p><p>"So I guess you're wondering how this happened?" </p><p>"It crossed my mind," Cas admits.</p><p>"I'm bi," he says. He twists the thick fabric of the napkins in his hands, looking at Cas' chest but never further up. "I don't tell anyone because I know my dad would- well, you've met Dad.”</p><p>“You don’t have to-"</p><p>"But I should have. It shouldn't have taken a fuck up like this for me to tell you."</p><p>Cas frowns. "You think this is a fuck up?" Dean finally meets his eyes, looking for any sign of sarcasm, but Cas appears to be genuine. </p><p>"Yeah," Dean says, "don't you?"</p><p>"No. I know my night isn't going entirely the way I planned it, but I'm still having dinner with the same person I was supposed to. Though maybe it will be better than before?" Dean wants to tell him that he was looking forward to finally fucking him, but given the new context, that might not go over well.</p><p>"But it's all bullshit," he exclaims. Then, sighing, he lowers his voice a little. "Cas it's not about this night, okay? I could take or leave Valentine's Day. When I met James, I felt something that I haven't for a long time. I don't date guys. Ever. But when I met him, when we talked, I considered it. I considered turning my entire life upside down for a guy who doesn't fucking exist."</p><p>"He does exist," Cas says softly, "he's just me."</p><p>"How is that not worse?" Dean realizes the meaning behind his words too late, but if Cas is offended, he doesn’t show it.</p><p>"Because I felt something, too. Because if, by the end of the night, you're still willing to turn your whole life upside down, you won't have to do it alone."</p><p>Dean can't even bring himself to touch on that right now, so he opts for the more obvious response. "Is none of this weird for you? Cas the same day we went saw Men in Black with Sam, I fuckin'-" he pauses, lowering his voice and leaning over the table. "I jerked off to a picture of your dick that night." A wide smile breaks across Cas' face and Dean struggles to share his humour. </p><p>"I'm sorry,” he says.  “Can I be blunt for a second?" Dean shrugs and Cas leans forward on his elbows. "You came here wanting me. You wanted to have a nice dinner and maybe go out after and you wanted to get laid. Tell me I'm wrong."</p><p>Dean looks away and mumbles, "<i>no</i>."</p><p>"Can't you still do that?"</p><p>Dean ignores the direct suggestion of them sleeping together. He <i>could</i> have a good night with Cas, but if he was going to do that he would have preferred to make plans with <i>Cas,</i> not James. Even if they are, technically, one and the same.</p><p>"I can't... sort it out in my head. It doesn't feel like you and James are the same person." </p><p>Cas pushes his chair back and rises to his feet, walking around the table to stand next to Dean. Dean follows the motion with his eyes, turning to look up at Cas when he stops. </p><p>"You want to talk about weird?" He asks, reaching out and brushing his fingers under Dean's chin. "Do you remember the night we went out with Sam and Jess and I got really drunk and told you way too much about the guy I wanted to fuck?" Dean nods slowly. He remembers that night significantly because drunk Cas is, apparently, explicit in his descriptions and Dean had to try and will away an erection the entire time. </p><p>"I was talking about you. I got drunk and spent my night talking to you about how I wanted to fuck you without either of us knowing." Cas doesn't wait for a reaction before dipping down and kissing him. </p><p>It catches Dean off guard and takes him a second to realize this isn't just his imagination. He moves to respond just as Cas pulls back and when he turns his head he realizes why. The server is right there with their appetizers and Cas grins a muttered <i>sorry</i> as he scoots out of the way. </p><p>When the server leaves, Cas smiles up at Dean softly. "Consider it? I'm the same person I was last night and you were certainly enthusiastic then."</p><p>Dean shuts his eyes. He knows Cas is right, but he's still struggling to reconcile the man he knew online and the one sitting in front of him. Maybe if he didn't know Cas so well, this would be easier. </p><p>"Okay," he agrees. </p><p>"We can just have dinner together, it doesn't have to be more than that."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> - - - </p>
</div><i>Just dinner</i> doesn't go exactly as Dean expects. He and Cas have had dinner together countless times and this is not like that. This is very clearly a date and as much as he tries to pretend that it's not, it starts to feel like one.<p>As they talk, the lines between James and Cas blur and Dean starts to wonder how he didn't see it in the first place. He tries to blame the wine for the warmth that spreads through his chest, but it's a farce and he knows it. Cas notices that something's not quite right, and he sets his fork down on the table, looking up at Dean. </p><p>"If this is too weird for you, we can go." If he'd said that the moment he walked in, Dean would have been out the door in an instant, but Cas' composure has given him time to think. </p><p>"No. You were right. I felt something for James and I can't just discount that because he turned out to be you." Cas' expression remains frustratingly neutral and Dean huffs a humourless laugh. "That's stupid, right? To give up on someone because they turned out to be your best friend?"</p><p>"I didn't say it was stupid," Cas corrects. </p><p>"No, but it is. I just don't know where to start now. We have all of this history and none of it meshes. First dates are supposed to be about getting to know the other person, but with you, I know pretty much everything."</p><p>"Is there anything you <i>want</i> to know about me?"</p><p>"Uh- I don't know. I never knew you loved the beach so much," Dean shrugs. </p><p>"I do. I was born in Oregon and my family spent every summer up the lake before we moved to Kansas."</p><p>"I didn't know that."</p><p>Once Cas gets him talking, things become easier. Neither of them drinks any of the wine, but it's for the best anyway because Dean doesn't want anything getting in the way of this going well. Already, their relationship is irrevocably changed and he wants to make sure that doesn't turn into a bad thing. Though considering the way Cas keeps looking up at him, that doesn't seem likely. </p><p>By the time they finish eating, Dean's antsy. He's doing better with the reconciliation thing, but it still feels weird to have all but slept with his best friend. </p><p>Cas pays for their dinner - an apology for making things more complicated than they needed to be - and choose to ignore him when Dean reminds him of his own part in this. And that's when it hits him. Cas may act like he's totally calm and fine with how things are going, but he's going through the exact same thing Dean is. Once they've paid and left the building, Dean pulls him aside. </p><p>"Can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Why is this so easy for you?" Cas doesn't answer immediately and Dean looks up at him. "Why is it so much harder for me?"</p><p>For the first time all night, Cas looks like he's the one who's uncomfortable. "Probably because this is... you didn't feel anything for me before?" he asks and Dean shakes his head in agreement. "I did."</p><p><i>Oh</i>. "Oh."</p><p>"When we first met I liked you a lot, but you didn't seem overly interested so I asked Sam first and he told me you were straight. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make it weird. By that point we were friends and I was happy with that."</p><p>"So when you realized-"</p><p>"I was happy," Cas cuts him off, "but not for the reason you'd think. Since we started talking you've been so much happier and I didn't make the connection until tonight. <i>I</i> was the one making you feel like that and I was happy because, after so many years, I was finally able to make you as happy as you make me every day."</p><p>Dean's still reeling, but he manages to speak. "You do make me happy Cas, you always have." </p><p>Cas meets his eyes and Dean's breath catches in his throat. If they're really going to go through with this, there's never been a better time. He steps forward and closes his eyes, leaning in until he can feel Cas' breath on his face. The idea of kissing Cas terrifies him because there are so many opportunities for this to go south, but his heart feels like it's going to beat right out of his chest  and that has to mean something. </p><p>When their lips finally touch, Dean nearly freezes up, but Cas takes over. He slides his hands up Dean's arms, soothing him, pulling him close and Dean relaxes. He winds his arms around Cas' waist, letting himself be drawn forward and just when he's about to press closer, Cas pulls back. </p><p>There is that moment of anxiety as Cas lets him go, but when Dean look back at him, he's smiling so softly at him. The nervousness dissipates almost immediately, replaced by a soft warmth that spreads through his chest. </p><p>"We should go somewhere," he suggests. </p><p>"Where did you have in mind?"</p><p>"I don't know, I just don't want to go home yet."</p><p>"It's a beautiful night," Cas says, "we could just go for a walk?" He takes a step forward and Dean doesn't realize what he's doing until Cas' fingers slip between his own. He looks at him, expecting him to say something, but Cas just smiles at him and leads him away across the street. </p><p>The air is cool, but the moonlight shines down on them and once they get away from the busier part of the city, it's very peaceful. They walk for a little while and Dean fills Cas in on the rest of his story; how he realized he was into guys too, and why he doesn't want to tell his family. Cas is understanding, maybe even more so than Dean thought he would be, but he doesn't let Dean feel bad about not telling him. </p><p>"It's a personal choice," he assures him. </p><p>"Yeah, but if I had-" he hesitates before stopping completely and Cas turns back to look at him. </p><p>"If you had?"</p><p>"Maybe this could have happened differently."</p><p>"Or maybe it wouldn't have at all," Cas adds, stepping closer until he's pressed against Dean's chest. "It doesn't matter <i>when</i>- we're here now."</p><p>Dean smiles at him. "I guess you're right."</p><p>"I am. "</p><p>Dean chuckles softly and pulls Cas closer, looking up at him. Time stands still for what feels like an eternity and then Cas leans in and Dean shuts his eyes. No matter what happens tonight, Dean will never forget the feeling of Cas' lips against his own. </p><p>When he pulls away again, Cas leads him over to a park bench and sits down, pulling dean down next to him. Dean shifts closer, leaning against Cas' shoulder and looking up at the sky. </p><p>"Are you cold?" Cas asks and Dean just shrugs. He can practically hear Cas rolling his eyes as he wraps an arm around him, but he doesn't mind. He leans over to look at him and when Cas smiles at him, Dean kisses him without thinking. </p><p>The angle is a little off, but Dean's too caught up in the press of lips and the warm puff of Cas' breath on his face to care. When Cas draws back, Dean just pushes back against him and he gets a quiet, huffed laugh in response and Cas' arms wind around his waist. </p><p>When he's pulled into Cas' lap, Dean doesn't even hesitate before pushing forward and settling himself. Cas' hands slip under his jacket, and Dean hums against his mouth. This should be the hardest part to adjust to, physically being with Cas, but somehow it's easier than anything else. </p><p>Cas kisses him like he's something special, like he's important, and for the first time, it's incredibly clear how Cas and James are the same person. Cas kisses like James spoke to him and Dean shifts in his lap, pressing himself closer to him. Cas responds in kind, pushing off the bench and sliding his hands up Dean's sides. </p><p>He touches him everywhere, exploring Dean’s body with his hands and despite the chill, Dean has to steady himself because it feels too good. He showed up to this date expecting to get laid, and while he’s still working through the difference between fucking a stranger and fucking your best friend, his body, apparently, didn't get the memo. </p><p>When Cas' hand wanders around to his stomach, Dean shudders, pushing his hips forward instinctively. Cas breaks away, looking up at him with dark eyes and Dean shifts uncomfortably. He tries to pull away, but Cas holds him still, keeping his eyes locked on Dean's as his hand slips lower, brushing his fingers over the bulge in his pants. Dean's breath catches and he exhales slowly, measuring his breath. Cas chuckles softly. </p><p>"You seem comfortable enough now," he breathes and the coarseness of his voice goes straight through Dean, though he does his best not to let it show.</p><p>"This is the part I'm good at," Dean breathes, "you know I suck at talking about things." Cas nods, acknowledging, as he runs his hands up Dean's thighs, continuing up to his sides. </p><p>"I want you to come home with me tonight." Dean's heart sinks instantly, though he can't immediately pinpoint why. He looks down at Cas, pursing his lips and he sighs. It's too much of a risk.</p><p>"I don't want this to be a one night thing," he mutters, dropping his head to break eye contact. "You were right before, about how it doesn't matter who you are, but you were wrong, too. If it was James I could suck it up and never see him again because he was just a guy, but not you."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Cas asks softly and Dean can hear the faint waver in his voice. </p><p>"Just that..." he exhales deeply. The prospect of flat-out telling Cas how he feels sits uncomfortably in his stomach. It's getting easier now to see him and James as the same person and even the things he said at the beginning of the night are haunting him now. </p><p>"You don't have to tell me," Cas says as he lifts a hand to cup Dean's cheek, Dean squeezes his eyes shut. </p><p>"Yeah, I do." He lifts his eyes to catch Cas' gaze and it feels like he's looking straight into his soul. "Cas, I- I have never felt like this for someone before and the more you and James start to feel like the same person, the worse it is. Or better. Whatever. But you're my best friend, if I lose you, what do I have?"</p><p>Cas frowns and Dean's stomach clenches. He opens his mouth to try and explain before Cas gets the wrong idea and streamlines the process of leaving, but Cas cuts him off. </p><p>"Why would you lose me?"</p><p>"If this goes badly?"</p><p>"Dean," Cas shakes his head, rubbing his thumb over his cheek. "I care too much about you to let anything ruin our friendship. Maybe this doesn't work out, but we'll still have each other." </p><p>Dean doesn't know what to say to that because he doesn't know how he would ever come back from a romantic relationship with Cas to just be friends again. He could do it if it came to that, but he knows it would hurt and it makes him wonder if he's more invested in this than Cas is. As if reading his mind, Cas' hand slides around the back of Dean's neck and he draws him forward. </p><p>"But on the other hand, I want to make this work, even if it means not telling our friends or family - or anyone. If you don't want to go any further than this tonight, we don't have to, but I'd still like you to come home with me."</p><p>"I didn't say I didn't want to," Dean reminds him, "I just want to make sure that you're in this with me."</p><p>"I am," Cas says with a smile and Dean dips down to kiss him again, grinning against his mouth. </p><p>"Then let's get the fuck out of here."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>- - -</p>
</div>They catch a cab because neither of them wants to walk back to the restaurant and Dean's antsy the whole drive home. Cas' hand on his knee does nothing whatsoever to help him relax and if it wasn't for the driver checking the rearview mirror every five seconds, he probably would have climbed back into Cas' lap already.<p>When they arrive, Cas hands him his keys and Dean goes up to the house while Cas pays for the cab. It feels a little intrusive to be going into his house without him, but once he gets inside where it's familiar, Dean relaxes again. </p><p>He makes for the kitchen, turning on the coffee maker and rifling through the cupboards to find a pair of mugs. The coffee maker doesn't even have time to heat up before Dean hears the front door open and shut and a second later, warm hands are on his hips, pushing up under his shirt. He sets the mugs back on the counter, turning toward Cas and he finds himself pulled forward against him. </p><p>This time, when Cas kisses him, it's different. It's not as gentle as before and he puts his whole body into it, pressing against him as his arms wind around his back. Dean lets himself be wrapped up, sliding his arms around Cas' neck to hold him closer and when Cas lifts him onto the counter, he wraps his legs around his waist. </p><p>It's not rushed or forced and it doesn't feel like a lead up to anything but more kissing, but Cas does this thing with his tongue that makes it difficult for Dean to sit patiently. Heat creeps up the back of his neck and when Cas' hand lands on his thigh, squeezing firmly, he's reminded of their conversations online. They talked about this a <i>lot</i>, which maybe is how they never realized who each other were; it's hard to recognize someone you've never had sex with when that takes up the majority of your conversations. </p><p>A little bit of the weirdness seeps back in when he tries to remember anything Cas said he liked. It's weird to be able to picture someone entirely naked and have never seen it in person. Or again, maybe that's just because it's Cas. The thought of it makes him restless because he <i>has</i> seen the pictures and he knows what Cas looks like under all those clothes; Cas might not be in any rush, but Dean wants him naked <i>now</i>. </p><p>He tugs experimentally at Cas' coat and when he's met without resistance, he pushes it back over his shoulders. Cas has no desire to let go of him, pressing his face into Dean's neck and kissing him softly. His arms tighten around him and Dean can feel Cas' grin against his neck, careless that his clothes are being removed around him. He sucks at the sensitive skin and Dean lifts his hands to Cas' shoulders to steady himself. He tries again to get Cas' jacket off, but Cas preoccupied and doesn't seem to care.</p><p>"Come on," Dean huffs, "get this off." Cas chuckles lightly, but he doesn't make any attempt to move until Dean groans at him. He shrugs off one sleeve at a time, taking his time with it and not letting go of Dean for a second. Despite his impatience, Dean likes having Cas' hands on him and he frowns when he pulls away.</p><p>"You too," Cas grins, and Dean quickly shrugs out of his jacket, pushing it onto the counter behind him. He gives Cas a smirk and Cas kisses him again, reaching down to pull Dean's shirt up. </p><p>Cas breaks away just long enough to get Dean's shirt over his head and then he's kissing him again, sliding his hands down Dean's back to pull him closer. Dean submits to him, letting Cas do what he wants and he finds himself being pulled off the counter and pressed up against Cas' chest. Cas' nose bumps against his own and Dean shuts his eyes. </p><p>"It's not too weird, is it?" Cas asks and Dean meets Cas' eyes, shaking his head slowly. </p><p>"No," he breathes. <i>Not anymore</i>. Not with Cas so warm and close and real against him. It's still a little weird knowing that James was never real, but he's adjusting to the fact that Cas very much is. </p><p>"Okay. Good." </p><p>Cas leans forward, catching Dean's lips in a heated kiss and he walks him backward into the living room and through the hall. When they reach the bedroom, Cas reaches around him to push the door open. Dean pushes his hands up, curling his fingers in Cas' shirt and tugging him after him. </p><p>Cas turns him when they reach the bed, kissing along Dean's shoulders and up the back of his neck. He's mumbling softly and Dean can't make out what he's saying, but he likes to listen to him and he likes the way Cas' breath rolls over his skin. Warm hands move down his stomach and a shudder runs through him as Cas' fingertips slide down his abdomen. </p><p>He gets Dean's pants undone and pushes them to the floor, running his hands over his bare hips. Dean shifts in a failing attempt to get Cas to touch him, dropping his head back onto his shoulder. He slips his fingers back through Cas' hair, breathing heavily as Cas' fingers roam everywhere but where Dean really wants them. He huffs in impatience and Cas smiles. </p><p>"Lie down, Dean." He nudges him gently toward the bed and Dean turns and drops onto it, kicking the remainder of his clothes onto the floor. </p><p>He sits back on his hands, watching Cas as he strips down and then he kneels on the bed, climbing up over him. Dean lies back, letting Cas take control and he watches him carefully.</p><p>"Don't think so much," Cas breathes.</p><p>"'M not," Dean assures him, "you're just..." he falters as Cas leans down and before he realizes it, he's pulling him even closer, winding his arms around Cas' neck and kissing him passionately. </p><p>Cas' cock is hard where it settles alongside Dean's and Dean struggles to comprehend that Cas could want him like this. <i>He</i> is the reason Cas is aroused, <i>he</i> is the one Cas wants right now and that is overwhelming. It's not their first experience, but it is the first time they've physically been together and Dean wasn't expecting this. All of their other encounters have been fast and lust-fuelled, this is so much more than that and Dean puts it down to the fact that they truly know each other this time. </p><p>Cas pushes Deans's arms up over his head and Dean watches him silently as his fingers slip down, down his arms and across the planes of his chest. His touch is soft and Dean shuts his eyes, letting the feeling of Cas' fingertips encompass him. It's more than he could have asked for and now that he's got it, he's not going to take it for granted. </p><p>He feels for Cas' hands on him, winding his fingers around his wrists and slipping up his forearms. Cas doesn't stop his exploration, just lets Dean touch him, and when Dean's hands move to his shoulders, one of Cas' slips up to the side of his neck. He leans on the other, propping himself up to fully cover Dean's body. He likes having Cas on top of him, the weight of him where they're pressed together and the feeling of submission. </p><p>When Cas kisses him, Dean responds with enthusiasm, pushing his fingers into Cas' hair and pulling him close enough that his nose bumps against his cheek. </p><p>"I'm sorry," he pants and Cas tries to pull away, but Dean doesn't let him. He smiles against Cas' lips. "I'm sorry I ever doubted this. Sorry I almost gave you up."</p><p>"I wouldn't let you," Cas smirks and kisses the laugh from Dean's lips. </p><p>He reaches down, running his fingertips along the underside of Dean's thigh before lifting it. He settles himself against him again, rocking his hips slowly and Dean breaks the kiss as Cas' cock slides along his own, throwing his head back with a moan. Cas takes advantage of the position, leaning to kiss a line up the column of his throat. </p><p>"<i>Oh</i>," Dean breathes, sighing as Cas' teeth graze his skin. He moves down and Dean lets his fingers drag up his back, twining into Cas' hair as he slips off the bed. "Where are you going?" he asks. </p><p>"Nowhere." Cas settles on the floor between his feet, leaning in to kiss the inside of Dean's thigh. His stubble scrapes against the sensitive skin and Dean shifts, huffing a quiet laugh. </p><p>Cas doesn't stop; if anything, Dean's ticklishness only encourages him. He kisses up one side then just barely lets his nose up against Dean's eager cock before moving down the other leg. He's slow and precise, kissing every inch of skin before moving back up again. </p><p>He kisses Dean's hips and his stomach, anywhere he can reach but he's careful to avoid even brushing against Dean's erection. Dean groans and rolls his hips, but even with his encouragement, Cas shies away. He sucks at the skin of Dean's hips, licking over it and sucking so hard Dean's sure there will be marks in the morning. He doesn't admit to himself or to Cas that he kind of likes the thought of it. </p><p>When Cas finally touches his cock, Dean feels like they've been at it for <i>hours</i>. There is no way it could have been, but Cas has him so riled up he can barely think straight and he needs the touch. Cas' breath ghosts over him, hot and damps, and Dean whines with need, pushing his hips up encouragingly. When Cas' tongue follows the huff of breath, Dean collapses back against the mattress, digging his fingers into the sheets. </p><p>Cas only uses his tongue, working his way up to the head and curling around him. Dean props himself up to watch, but he winds up dropping his head back again when Cas' lips wrap around his head. He's known Cas for longer than he can remember at this point and he's never realized just how long his tongue is. He'd declare him a public menace if he wasn't the one benefitting from it right now. </p><p>He gets his legs up, planting his feet on the edge of the bed and Cas slips his arms under him, lifting Dean's knees over his shoulders. He pushes against his thighs as he leans over him and Dean whimpers as Cas' lips slide down his length. </p><p>"I didn't realize you were so flexible," Cas huffs, flicking his tongue at the head of Dean's cock. </p><p>"And I can't believe you've got such a perfect fucking mouth." </p><p>Cas huffs softly, leaning up to kiss him softly. Dean's eyes drop shit and he winds his arms around Cas' neck, holding him close. </p><p>Cas' cock bumps against his as he climbs back up onto the bed. He's got Dean pinned, entirely immobile as Cas' presses against him. When Cas pulls back, kissing Dean's neck again, his cock slips, sliding against Dean's ass and he wiggles against it, rolling his hips back as well as he can in his position. He exhales slowly, biting his lip as Cas' cock pushes against his hole and <i>fuck</i>, he wants it. </p><p>"Are you gonna fuck me?" he breathes and Cas chuckles softly, pressing his lips to Dean's collarbone before pulling up to sit on his knees.</p><p>"Not yet. Think you can hold out?" Dean nods because he's never one to say no to, well, any kind of sex. Whether or not he can actually last as long as Cas is up for debate because he remembers all the things Cas promised to do to him when they were still just talking online. And<i> fuck</i>, if Cas does even half of what he talked about, Dean's going to lose his damn mind tonight. </p><p>Cas pulls back, running his hands down Dean's chest as he rises to his feet. He climbs back up onto the bed, kneeling next to him and he pushes a hand down Dean's stomach, letting his fingers slip over the head of his cock. Dean arches into the touch, turning to look up at him, and Cas lets his hand move down. He presses back behind his balls and dean bites his lips, holding back a moan as Cas' fingertips slide against his hole. He opens his eyes to look at Cas, but Cas is preoccupied watching him, following the motion of his own hand. </p><p>His cock hangs heavy between his thighs and Dean wants him desperately. He leans forward, wrapping his hand around the base of him and Dean shifts closer to him, sucking the head of Cas' cock into his mouth. Cas jerks forward, but Dean ignores him, sucking him down deeper and Cas pauses for a minute before realizing himself and rolling his hips forward.</p><p>His cock slides against Dean's tongue and Dean sucks hard, wrapping his tongue around him. He might not be as talented as Cas with his tongue, but he can give one hell of a blowjob, even at such an awkward angle. It doesn't take long for Cas to figure that out. </p><p>He rubs over Dean's hole, muttering to himself as he rocks his hips forward. He pushes himself forward, sliding between Dean's lips as he reaches over him. Dean loses track of him as he shuts his eyes, but when Cas sits back on his heels, he's breathing heavily. </p><p>"You feel amazing," he breathes, running a hand through Dean's hair. "<i>Oh god</i>."</p><p>His hand falls away from between Dean's legs, reaching up to join the others in his hair and Dean rolls onto his side to get a better angle. Cas moans, tugging on Dean's hair as Dean sucks him down to the base. The sound goes straight through him and Dean grins to himself, flattening his tongue along the underside of Cas' cock and pulling slowly up to the head. He flicks his tongue as he pulls off before diving in again, taking him deep and holding him there. </p><p>Cas' hips twitch and Dean can feel him trying not to push too hard, which is sweet, but Dean's having none of it. He pulls Cas on top of him, running his hands down his back and forcing the roll of his hips. Cas falls forward, catching himself on one hand; the other remains firmly in Dean's hair. </p><p>"<i>Fuck</i>," he groans. When Dean looks up, Cas has his eyes shut, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth and Dean groans around him. He looks so good when he's turned on and it only makes Dean want to push him further. </p><p>He slips one hand back between Cas' cheeks, rubbing against his hole and Cas lets out a low groan, mumbling something unintelligible. He reaches for the bottle of lube and Cas drops his head back, pressing his hips forward. Dean hums around him, clicking the lid open and slicking his fingers up. </p><p>He presses back against Cas' hole and Cas pushes back on him, trying to fuck himself on Dean's finger. The more he pushes, the more Dean wants to fuck him properly. His cock aches where it twitches against his stomach, desperate for any contact, but Dean's too focused on Cas to worry about himself. It's not until Cas reaches back and touches him that he realizes just how much he needs it. </p><p>Dean completely stills for a second as Cas' fingers brush up the full length of his cock. Everything else stands still and Dean rolls his head back, letting Cas' cock slip from his mouth as he groans. </p><p>"<i>O-oh fuck</i>-" Dean bites his lip and groans through it, slipping a second finger over Cas' hole before pressing into him. Cas squeezes his cock as he moans and he leans low over Dean, biting the underside of his jaw. </p><p>"I know I promised to fuck you," he breathes, "but I want you inside me right now. I'll fuck you any other time you want."</p><p>"Anything you want, babe," Dean rasps and Cas kisses him roughly, breathing heavily against his lips.</p><p>Cas is still lying against his chest, kissing his neck, as he reaches for the bottle of lube again. Dean's breath catches as Cas wraps slick fingers around him, jerking him a couple of times before pulling off. He wipes his hand on the sheets and sits back up, rubbing Dean's chest as he adjusts Dean's cock. </p><p>As he sits back on him, Dean's hands jump to his hips, pressing his fingers into Cas' skin and he shuts his eyes. Cas' breath comes in stuttered breaths as he lowers himself and when he stops completely, Dean rubs his thighs. </p><p>"You okay?" Dean asks and Cas nods. He's still got his eyes shut, but he smiles. </p><p>"Yeah. It's just been a while." He presses back again, slower this time and his fingers slide forward, curling around Dean's shoulders. "<i>God</i>, you feel so good."</p><p>"Mm," Dean hums, "you too baby."</p><p>Cas doesn't wait until Dean's fully inside him to start moving. He rocks his hips forward and pushes further onto him with each reverse thrust. Dean struggles to keep his eyes open because it feels so damn good, but he wants to watch Cas, he wants to see the way his cock bounces as Cas fucks himself on Dean's.</p><p>He rocks his hips slowly, keeping in time with Cas' thrusts and when he gets his breathing under control again, slides one of his hands up the length of Cas' cock. Cas exhales slowly, pushing between Dean's fingers and Dean's enthralled by the way Cas moves, the way his muscles roll when he rocks forward. He watches him carefully and it's clear that Cas is much more composed than he is. </p><p>Dean watches as Cas rides him, pushing Dean closer and closer to falling apart entirely and the only thing that shows Cas is even coming close is the way his face scrunches up when he pushes back on Dean's cock. It's maddening and incredibly hot. </p><p>When Cas clenches around him, squeezing Dean's cock as he pulls up, it almost undoes him and Dean curls in on himself, propping himself up on one hand. He wraps the other around Cas' waist, sliding his fingers down between his cheeks. His mouth is dry and he's so fucking close, but he wants to make Cas come, so he slides his fingers over his hole, tracing where he's stretched around his cock. </p><p>Cas' whine of pleasure is exactly what he was hoping for and he wraps a hand around himself, slowly stroking up to the head of his cock. Dean watches in awe, still straining to hold on, but when Cas rocks back on him, pushing Dean's fingers into him, it's too much. </p><p>"<i>Baby I'm gonna come</i>-" Dean mutters, each word tumbling into the next. "<i>Fuck, baby- fuck--</i>" </p><p>Dean squeezes his eyes shut, wrapping his fingers around Cas' thigh as he comes. He pulls his other hand free and Cas' hands find his own, twining their fingers together and squeezing hard as Dean rides through the rush of it. Just as he's coming down, Cas rolls his hips again and Dean's legs shake under him. </p><p>He pulls Cas' hips down, holding him steady and he looks up to meet his gaze. Cas grins down at him, running his hands over Dean's chest again. He catches a nipple and all the breath pulls from Dean's lungs. </p><p>"How are you still hard?" he asks and Cas chuckles, bending low over him. </p><p>"I jerked off before our date. I didn't want to get hard halfway through and make things awkward."</p><p>"<i>Jesus</i>."</p><p>"Roll over," Cas breathes and when he pulls off of him again, Dean flops onto his stomach, huffing into the blankets. He can hear Cas' chuckling above him and then he's climbing over him, squeezing Dean's ass. Dean folds his arms under his head, exhausted and willing to let Cas do whatever the hell he wants with him. </p><p>When Cas' fingers press into him, Dean presses his face into his arms, moaning. Despite having just come as hard as he did, he wants Cas to fuck him. He wants him inside him and he wants Cas to take his pleasure from him. </p><p>"Fuck me," he breathes and Cas is quick to act. He drapes himself over Dean's back, letting his cock drag between Dean's cheeks. It catches with every thrust and Dean whines each time he slips away. </p><p>When he finally pushes in, Cas presses his forehead between Dean's shoulder blades, breathing hard as he slides into him. Cas is quieter on top, but Dean revels in each little puff of breath and as he gets closer, Cas starts to mumble. It starts with meaningless words of praise, but evolves, telling Dean how incredible he is, how fucking perfect he is. </p><p>By the time Cas comes, he's worked Dean up enough that he almost feels like he could come again. But when Cas collapses against him, grunting as he thrusts deep, Dean pulls his hands under him, kissing his fingers. </p><p>Cas hums softly and buries his face in Dean's neck, catching his breath before rolling off of him and onto his back. They both lie still for a second before Dean turns to him with a dopey smile. Cas doesn't say anything, but he leans forward and kisses him. Dean doesn't need more than that. </p><p>This absolutely was not what he was expecting from his valentine's date - other than maybe the incredible sex - but he couldn't imagine having a better night. In all the years and all the Valentine's days in the past, this is the one Dean will remember. </p><p>He doesn't know how long it's been, but it doesn't feel late and he's not ready to leave. Among other things, he wants to talk. If there was ever anyone worth coming out for, it's Cas and Dean wants him to know that. He wants other things as well, but first, he wants to let Cas know how he feels. He doesn't get a chance to talk before Cas sighs next to him and pushes himself up. </p><p>"Do you want a coffee?" he asks and Dean nods. Cas steps back toward the bed as Dean pushes himself up. Cas kisses him again and this time, Dean slides his hands around the back of Cas' neck, holding him close. When he finally lets go, Cas is smiling at him. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and makes his way out into the kitchen. </p><p>While he's waiting, Dean shivers in the cool air and he pulls a sheet up over himself before changing his mind. He creeps out of the bedroom and while he sneaks down the hall, he can smell the scent of coffee in the air. It reminds him of so many other nights he's spent here and he smiles to himself. For the first time he's really happy about the difference between <i>before</i> and now and he grins to himself as he opens the bathroom door. </p><p>He turns the water on in the shower and steps under the spray to wait for Cas. Goosebumps spread over his skin and Dean splashes himself with water to help prevent the chill from spreading. He has his head tipped back, running hot water through his hair when Cas walks in. Dean doesn't see him with his eyes shut, but Cas gets into the shower with him, sliding his hands over Dean's waist and pulling him close. </p><p>"You didn't wait for me," he hums and Dean opens his eyes. </p><p>"Figured you'd find me." He tips closer, kissing Cas' lips. "Hey," he breathes, "when we talked before... were you serious about making things work?"</p><p>"You mean do I want to be with you? Yes, I do. Even more now than before."</p><p>"Good," Dean grins, shaking his head sheepishly. "I was thinking about telling Sam. Y'know, if this works out."</p><p>"I don't want you to tell anyone until you're ready."</p><p>"I am. I've been living with this for so long, Cas. I want to be able to be with you in public and not have to worry about who might see or how it might get back to someone. I don't know if I'm ready to tell everyone, but I wanna tell Sam. And I want to make this work, however we can."</p><p>Cas presses up against him, holding him close and Dean shuts his eyes. "I'll do whatever I can. Just tell me how I can help."</p><p>Dean wraps his arms around his neck, kissing him soundly and Cas presses him up against the wall, smiling against him. When he breaks away, Dean's breathless and he huffs a soft laugh. </p><p>"Thanks for convincing me to stick it out."</p><p>"Well," Cas admits, "I wasn't being entirely selfless."</p><p>"I'll take it."</p><p>When the water cools, Cas pulls him out of the shower and warms up their coffee while Dean finds a movie for them to watch. As far as Valentine's dates go, this was a bizarre one, but Dean wouldn't take back a minute of it.</p>
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